If you have a disability, you have been called “an inspiration” at least once in your life. Normally I will smile and say an awkward “thank you” just to be polite but am always left thinking why am inspirational?
The way I see it I starts my day the same as everyone else -well I have a little help, but I’ve still got to get out of bed to get dressed and been in the loo. Just because I use a wheelchair doesn’t mean these happen any differently. All it means is that these things might take me a bit longer to do in the morning, but the end result is the same. I need to do these things just the same as everyone else just so I can start my day… so what’s inspirational about it?
I’ve not won a gold medal or cured world hunger, just because I have a disability doesn’t mean I am constantly overcoming challenges. Sometimes I am just living my life the only way I know how. I’ve been told graduating with my PHD makes me inspirational, but it doesn’t. Graduating with a PHD is a major achievement for anyone regardless of whether they have a disability or not. It’s one of those things in life that might seem impossible to achieve but if it is a goal that is achievable for you then set in your sights and go for it. Achieving this does not make me better than anyone else and if I ever come across like that you have my full permission to shoot me! Equally if you have another goal you want to achieve then aim for that too. One goal should not be seen as any less than another. If a goal is important to someone then it’s important regardless of what it is or whether that person has a disability or not.
Lee Rigby Lost Voice Guy) Britain’s Got Talent winner 2018 who also has Cerebral Palsy (did I mention that this was my disability...No???... that’s how much it defines me) has a similar attitude to me when it comes to our disability. If you remember back to him being a contestant on BGT he would often wear t-shirts that poked fun at disability. “ I am only in it for the parking” and “I am not your f*****g inspiration”.
These made me laugh as he was echoing my outlook and I have since met him when he performed at Edinburgh fringe festival and told him this. I now have my own tagline. Until recently I didn’t realise how much I said it or how relevant it is to the lives of disabled people…”What do I know… I only live it!!!” I’ve said this so many times sarcastically when professional and non-disabled people try to tell me how they think I should live my life ( of course they know better - what do I know…I only live it!!!) but this is true for so many disabled people.
People, usually kids who still have their innocence and to whom the world is so black and white, have asked me over the years questions like; “would you not like to walk?” I’d be lying if I’d said I haven’t ever thought how different my life might be if I could walk but at the same time my disability is not something I am ashamed of…it’s the opposite really. I am proud of who I am and how far I have come despite the challenges my disability brings at times. However, if I didn’t have my disability, you wouldn’t be reading this blog, I wouldn’t be a disability advocate and I wouldn’t be passionate about being part of changing the narrative for disabled people. Some people might arguably say that my disability is a part of who I am, and I suppose it is to an extent, but I often say that in my view my Cerebral Palsy is only a small part of who I am. It does not in any way define who I am. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but it certainly does not make me exceptional, it is just who I am.
One view point if you adopt the social model of disability rather than the medical model is that it’s society that disables people as a result of an ablest approach. I would be inclined to agree with this, and I highlighted it a few months ago with the help of a colleague when we produced a video around Facebook Avatars highlighting that they had somehow managed to overlook disability when designing and including options within their Avatar app. It isn’t that Facebook had totally missed inclusion, they hadn’t. They had actually done quite a good job of representing inclusion in their Avatar app by including options such as representing an individual’s ethnicity and sexuality as well as including multiple choice for hair and lipstick colour. Facebook in my view have unintentionally excluded disability. I have since tried to contact them multiple times to highlight this to them, not as a complaint but rather to assist them in ensuring they are fully inclusive but as, yet I haven’t been successful.
Why do we/society consider it not only acceptable but complimentary to say things like “I couldn’t do what you do” or “I’m glad I am not in your position” to disabled people? Believe me when I say it is neither acceptable or complimentary to hear that as a disabled person. When things like this have been said to me, more often than not I’ve wanted to respond and say something like “I’m glad it is not you either” but that’s nothing to do with disability it’s because I know them as a person, and I know they wouldn’t handle the things that I and other disabled people are regularly faced with.
It’s not my intention to shame or call anyone out on the fact they call me inspirational. I don’t want to escalate an already existing awkwardness that exists between the two communities. However, there is no denying that there is a perception within society that means the public already feel awkward about disability. As a result of this, clearly societies perception of what it means to live with a disability is flawed.
Recognising achievements, no matter how big or small contribute to changing the narrative for disabled people so there can be no denying that things have changed a lot in recent times and significantly better in many ways. However, it also cannot be denied that there are still significant steps to be made in-terms of disability, not only in the practises of those who support disabled people but also in the wider society.
It is not that I don’t like the word inspirational it is just I feel awkward around it. All I am trying to do is navigate and contribute to making the world a better place to live.
If you are interested in supporting Y.O.U’s view that disabled people don’t want to be regarded as an inspiration you can purchase one of our newly released “I’m Not your F*****g Inspiration ‘by visiting our online shop at www,youroptionsunderst@wixsite.com/y-o-u
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